Yes, it's Mid-December already. That most wonderful time of the year, with everyone's favorite holiday just around the corner...
Bah, humbug.
I hate Christmas. No, it's not just because I like to complain about things or that I have the false perception that simply going against popular opinion makes me a "free thinker". It also has nothing to do with any religious affiliation of the holiday either, which is also sketchy at best. Fine, send me off on a brief tangent on the history of our modern Christmas...
Throughout history, there have been numerous ancient pagan holidays celebrated near winter solstice, but the direct descendant of our modern Christmas can probably be considered the Roman holiday of Saturnalia, the god of agriculture. Or more specifically even, the birthday of Mithra, the god of the unconquerable sun, celebrated on December 25th, and considered by some Romans as the most sacred day of the year. So of course in typical Catholic tradition, long about the fourth century, Pope Julius I declared December 25th as a celebration of the birthday of Jesus Christ in a blatant attempt to absorb another pagan holiday into a conversion to Christianity. Nevermind the very story of Jesus' birth and angels visiting shepherds in the field tending their flocks at the time indicates Jesus was actually born in the spring and directly contradicts a winter celebration, but hey, let's overlook that in order to thwart another pagan holiday. Besides, we already have Easter in place to undermine pagan springtime festivities, so we don't need another spring holiday. So December 25th became the unofficial birthday of Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. As far as all of the "traditions" we celebrate in our modern Christmas, that's mostly the fault of us Americans. Christmas in its current form didn't really pick up steam until the mid to late 1800's, where Americans decided it was the perfect family holiday and retail opportunity, and began to incorporate traditions and beliefs from different churches and immigrants from around the world, or just plain made up their own traditions. For more information on the convoluted history of what we have come to call Christmas, check out How Christmas Works. Anyways, my point is the birth of Jesus as the celebration for Christmas in fact plays a small part in the holiday's origins, and is actually about as historically inaccurate as the rest of the holiday's traditions. Now back to the rant.
So why do I particularly dislike Christmas? In part, it's the same problem I have with all modern holidays. They're over-commercialized. Christmas is just the epitomy of the over-commercialized holiday. Most retail stores account for 70% of their annual income to just the Christmas shopping season alone. TV shows, movies, commercials, signs, and ads are everywhere promoting this season of peace, love, harmony, and spending lots of money buying presents for other people. From the Christian standpoint, if this holiday is about the birth of Christ, in what way does crowding shopping malls and spending all your money on your friends and family tie into that? Can't figure it out? Neither can I. What about the rest of the non-Christian population that still celebrates the holiday? They have even less reason, yet they're not left out of the festivities, now are they? Whatever one's explanation for celebrating it is, I doubt any can explain why exactly they have a decorated dead tree in their living room or what Santa Clause really has to do with anything. That's because the true meaning of Christmas is doing whatever the media tells you to. If you can't detail the origins of a tradition, is it then even traditional? Hardly. Why all the hyped up Christmas festivities then? So the retail industry can rake in more income in a couple weeks than it does the other eleven months of the year combined, that's why. As long as they can keep people excited and enchanted by the "spirit of Christmas", they continue to make money hand over fist. And that is the true meaning of Christmas.
But as I said, that's only part of the reason I don't like the holiday. Here's the main reason for my dislike of Christmas: With all these people spending money on gifts, why can't anyone manage to buy me something good??!! I mean come on, seriously, who wants socks for Christmas? I wouldn't really appreciate someone giving me socks on any of the other 364 days of the year, how does anyone figure they make a good Christmas gift? The same goes for ties. Especially Christmas ties. Great! A present I can only use once a year, and I have to wait another 12 months to wear it! Gee, thanks! I think a good rule of thumb is that if you can't think of a good gift to buy someone, either give them a gift card, or consider that you don't know them well enough to warrant buying them anything in the first place and save the money you would have wasted on some lame gift for them and put it towards a nicer gift for someone you actually care about. Now I don't know why there's this stigma surrounding gift cards. Contrary to popular opinion, I think they're one of the best gifts you can get someone. Many people don't like giving gift cards because you now have an exact dollar figure for how much someone spent on your present. Okay... and I'm supposed to believe you spent more than $5 on those socks? Me, I'd take even a $5 gift card over some dollar store trash any day. People also claim it's an impersonal gift, but let me ask you, which of the following scenarios do you find less personal:
1. "I didn't know what to buy you for Christmas, so here's a cheap package of socks I picked up at the dollar store."
2. "I didn't know what to buy you for Christmas, so I bought you a gift card worth a few dollars from a place you actually like to shop."
If you as me, a gift card is actually a more personal gift than some cheap present you picked up because you couldn't figure out what to really get for them. Here's how I interpret these two different scenarios:
1. "I didn't know what to get you and I didn't care enough to figure it out either, so here's a cheap piece of crap to say the thought of buying you something at least crossed my mind."
2. "I didn't know what to get you, but I know you like to shop at this particular store, so I got you a gift card worth a few bucks since I'm sure you could find a good use for it there."
If people would listen to me on this one simple point, I would have a far happier Christmas. Imagine for a moment that every person who would have bought you a crappy gift this year instead decided to just get you a gift card good at your favorite store. Even a cheap gift card. With that little collection of cards, you could manage to buy yourself a pretty nice present. But what are you supposed to do with your assortment of socks, ties, and sweaters? Well, you could always save them for next year, wrap them back up, and return them as your very thoughtful Christmas present back to them. That's right, who ever said that game was only reserved for the fruitcake?
So in closing, anyone thinking of buying me some lame, cheap gift this year, I respectfully request (okay, demand) you instead do one of the following:
1. Don't buy me anything and save the money for a better gift for someone else. Otherwise, you'll be seeing your present again in about a year...
2. Click here, and remember my email address is tribblehunter@hotmail.com.