"The City can experience seasonal taste and odor problems associated with the drinking water... The primary causes are Geosmin and Methylisoborneol (MIB), non-harmful, naturally occurring compounds associated with algae growth in lakes and canals." Yum. Thanks, but if I wanted to drink algae, I'd stick my head in my fish tank.
Then we get into the section on "Possible Contaminants", which apparently algae wasn't considered as one, having it's own separate section elsewhere on the report. "Drinking water may reasonably be expected to contain at least small amounts of some contaminants... As water travels over the surface of the land or through the ground, it dissolves naturally occurring minerals and, in some cases radioactive material, and can pick up substances resulting from the presence of animals or from human activity. Contaminants that may be present in source water include:
Microbial contaminants, such as viruses and bacteria that may come from sewage treatment plants, septic systems, agricultural livestock operations, and wildlife.
Inorganic contaminants, such as salts and metals, which can be naturally occurring or result from urban storm water runoff, industrial or domestic wastewater discharges, oil and gas production, mining, or farming.
Pesticides and herbicides, which may come from a variety of sources such as agriculture, urban storm water runoff, and residential uses.
Organic Chemical Contaminants, including synthetic and volatile organic chemicals, which are by-products of industrial processes and petroleum production, and can also come from gas stations, urban storm water runoff, and septic systems.
Radioactive contaminants, which can be naturally occurring or be the result of oil and gas production and mining activities.
Wow. So theoretically, at any given time I could be drinking small portions of a radioactive dung beetle that fell victim to a roach bait trap, which then rolled into leaky gas station sewer with some runoff during an acid rain storm. But that's not all. The water quality data table also indicated traces of the following: arsenic, asbestos, barium, calcium, chromium, copper, lead, nickel, radium, and selenium, just to name a few of the more easy to pronounce ones. While these are all reported as within FDA regulatory levels, I hardly feel that consumption of these substances at any level on a regular basis can be good for you.
Conversely, here are the contents of a can of Mountain Dew: Carbonated water, high fructose corn syrup and/or sugar, concentrated orange juice and other natural flavors, citric acid, sodium benzoate (preserves freshness), caffeine, sodium citrate, gum arabic, yellow 5, erythorbic acid (preserves freshness), calcium disodium EDTA (to protect flavor) and brominated vegetable oil. I think the comparison speaks for itself. However, since I know half of you people who visit my site crumble under my seemingly inexhaustible verbosity and can never actually finish reading my posts, here's a chart for you lazy bastards.
 | VS. |  |
| Water | Mt. Dew | |
| Algae growth | Y | N |
| Arsenic | Y | N |
| Asbestos | Y | N |
| Fecal waste (crap) | Y | N |
| Microbial floaty things | Y | N |
| Radioactive waste | Y | ? |
| Various poisons | Y | N |
| Various metals | Y | N |
| Good for fish to swim in | Y | N |
| Bubbly carbonation | N | Y |
| Caffeine | N | Y |
| Sugar | N | Y |
| It looks cool | N | Y |
| It's supposed to be yellow | N | Y |
There you have it, irrefutable evidence that Mountain Dew is better for you than water. So stay away from that tap, rush down to your local grocery or convenience store, and load up on the caffienated yellow goodness that is Mt. Dew. This has been a public service announcement.