COMMENTARY - Golf spelled backwards is Flog

I dislike sports in general. I think they're dumb. But I don't really have problems with most sports. The jocks can go about doing their athletic thing and people like myself can continue being perfectly content ignoring them. There is, however, one "sport" to which I am morally opposed. Golf. What kind of sport is golf? Any other sport can easily contain itself in it's own field or arena. But no, that's not good enough for golf. It has to span miles to be satisfied. What's more, the entirety of that massive acreage it hordes has to be green. Even if the course is in the middle of an arid desert, these idiots waste millions of gallons of water on grass so they can smack a tiny little ball as far as they can on it. To make this abominable use of property even more wasteful, only one person can actually use a specified chunk of it at any given time. Forget about teams, when someone's about to get their whack at their ball, you better leave them alone. They will tolerate other idiot golfers standing around and respectfully watching, but if you are not a member of their precious little club and they spot you on their turf sans the requisite percentage of plaid in your ensemble, you'll be in for some trouble. It's the only sport I can think of that doesn't like spectators. Also, when I think of sports, I think of physical activity. All there is to golf is swinging a club every so often. Most golfers are such lazy bastards they can't even walk to their ball after they hit it, they have to ride a damn cart. Imagine if they did that in other sports, baseball for example. The batter hits the ball out into left field, hops in his cart, and guns it for first base at 5mph. Ridiculous. A sport that involves no physical activity, no teams, no audience, and takes up miles of space. Does anybody else see something wrong with this? Of course, I have several suggestions on how to improve the sport. By combining elements of golf with football and NASCAR, we can have a sport to be enjoyed by everyone. First, start out with two teams. Large teams. They will start on opposing sides of the course. The object of the game is to get your golferbacks to the designated tee zones and hit a ball into one of the opposing team's nine holes. The first team to sink all nine opposing goals wins. The sport will involve lots of full-contact roughness, souped up golf carts going 60mph+, and haphazard projectiles. All the things that make sports entertaining. Screw this pansy golf crap.