Just when you think PETA can't possibly do anything even more idiotic than they already have, they always come up with a new way to surprise you. Today in fact, we have two. First up, PETA president Ingrid Newkirk has drawn up a will stating a list of abominable and atrocious acts that are to be committed with her remains upon her death. These feats of idiocy include barbecuing her flesh, using her skin to make leather products, turning her feet into umbrella stands, and as a personal request she wants her heart buried near the Ferrari pits at the Hockenheim Formula One racing circuit in Germany. Oh, she says it's not totally selfish, because Michael Schumacher once actually signed a letter for PETA against experiments on monkeys, right, of course. I'm sure he really wants your heart in his Ferrari pit as a thank you memento. Anyway my question is, what exactly does she hope to accomplish with all this? The only thing I can think of is publicity for PETA. I cannot see my life being strongly affected by some nutcase having some bizarre instructions carried out with her carcass. In fact, these acts are so outlandish they only distract from the message they are attempting to convey. "We hope it will start a trend," Newkirk said. Sure, I'll hop on the bandwagon. I'm going to write in my will that when I die, my ass is to be mounted on a plaque and delivered to PETA's headquarters, with an engraving reading "May the moon forever shine upon all your endeavors." Oooh, I feel so trendy.
As long as we're on the topic of PETA and barbecuing, they have also approached the city of Hamburg, NY with the request to rename their town to Veggieburg. The offer was immediately declined, in spite of PETA's "generous" offer to donate $15,000 worth of veggieburgers to the city's schools. I'm sure the kiddies would have loved that. This is not the first time PETA has sought for a New York town to change it's name and forsake it's history and heritage for the ridiculous purpose of a avoiding conjuring up images of animal abuse at their mention. Before confronting the birthplace of the hamburger, it was Fishkill in 1996, a town of Dutch heritage, where "kill" is the Dutch word for "stream". Again, instead of walking away wanting a veggieburger as PETA would hope, I instead come out of this story with a new appreciation for Hamburg's heritage, and craving a nice big juicy cheeseburger. Looks like you botched up another one, PETA.
When will PETA learn that negative attention does not equate to good attention?