COMMENTARY - Tech Support

I hate working on archaic PC's. Being an obvious geek at work gets me a lot of people asking to fix their crappy computers. For some reason I always say yes. Perhaps I think I'll enjoy the challenge. Perhaps I figure this piece of crap will be different than all the other pieces of crap and actually work correctly. Whatever it is, I'm now going to adopt a new policy. I'm going to write a set of minimum system specs by which all future machines I work on will be measured. If a system does not meet these requirements, I will give it a benchmark test which I've named the "high velocity percussive resistance test". This benchmark involves taking a series of mallets to the system and measuring the effects on its ability to boot up. First we start with the rubber mallet. If the system proves resistant to the rubber mallet test, we move on to the rock hammer. If it also passes that test, we bring on the sledgehammer. If the system still boots after completion of the sledgehammer test, I will then fix their PC as requested. Otherwise, I will return their computer, or what's left of it, informing them that "the system was unable to boot after a routine percussive resistance test, due to insufficient minimum system requirements. Purchase of a new computer that isn't a POS model is recommended. Please inform your computer salesman that your last system crashed with an ID10T error. He'll be able to direct you to their Apple selection."