COMMENTARY - War Happens. Get Over It.

I'm tired of hearing everyone lament about war. Yes, it's bad. Yes, people die and things blow up. It's all the elements that make a good action movie, but it seems to suddenly lose its appeal when it's happening on the evening news instead of on HBO. Go figure. I have a simple mathematical explanation for all you people sniveling about the evils of war. You might recognize it if you managed to make it through so much as junior high. If A=B, and B=C, then A=C. What's this got to do with war? Well, let's add some names to these variables. We'll assign the word happens to A, B will be sh*t, and C will stand for war. So adding these variables into our formula, A=B stands for happens=sh*t, or put into plain English, "sh*t happens". This is a common universally accepted truth, and is the foundation for the rest of our formula. Next, B=C would represent sh*t=war, or in common terms, "war is sh*t". This is also widely accepted as a factual statement. So that brings us to A=C, happens=war, or "war happens". As you can plainly see, if the previous two statements of sh*t happens and war is sh*t are true, then the declaration that war happens must also be true. That's right. There's no way around it. War happens. So get over it. A study was done on rats, where the rodents were placed in a utopian environment with more fresh food and water than they could use. Yet interestingly enough, as the rat population grew and their environment became overcrowded, the rats started to break into distinct packs and began hording the food, even though there was more than enough to go around. They then became extremely violent and began killing each other. All as a result of overpopulation. I think we see a similar phenomenon with humans on a global scale, and while typically overlooked, it is still likely a playing factor in the instigation of wars. Honestly, I think we should welcome war as a form of population control. While it's true there are civilian casualties, wars are really fought by and large by soldiers. In many countries these soldiers may not be offered the choice to serve as they are here in the U.S., but whether they were drafted by force or joined up by choice, the casualties of war are largely refined to the specific demographic of males of reproductive age. Eventually the war ends, the population has been cut back, and human reproduction will have been deferred for a generation or two. This seems to me a more favorable form of population control than many. Most other forms of limiting the population lack the controlled nature of war. Take disease as another example. Disease is far less discerning about its victims, and kills without the discretion of war. So would you want to be a candidate for population control yourself via some strange and exotic jungle virus, or would you rather someone willing to sacrifice their lives go out and die for you in a more controlled method of population management instead? Puts it in a different light when you look at it like that, doesn't it? I'm still not saying you have to like it, but come to grips with the fact that war is an inevitable event, and is not as evil as you may think. And please, quit your pansy sniveling and show your appreciation to those soldiers who are willing to sacrifice their lives to prevent the animalistic instincts of man from destroying us all. You owe it to them.