NEWS - Unionizing Monkeys

Eh. Dismally little time to mess with this today. See, I don’t actually have a computer of my own at home (LONG story and a sore subject so please don’t bring it up again, thank you) so I mess with this solely from work. But occasionally my employer asks me to work at work, and today would be one of those unfortunate days. That’s the bad news. The good news is I’m playing musical cubicles today and will end up with a new job function even easier than my current one. I didn’t think this was physically possible, but they never cease to amaze me with the mindless tasks they can find for us to do in our little cubicle farm. They should train monkeys to do this. After the initial training, the primates would represent a significant reduction in payroll, the monkeys wouldn’t need benefits or insurance or pre-paid tuition, and there wouldn’t be a union to gripe all the time over trite and meaningless topics such as the dress code and what the official work time is. Well, unless the monkeys eventually unionized of course, but I wouldn’t expect them to do anything more than throw poop around the office until you zapped them with a tazer and gave them a banana, after which I’m sure they’d go back to work since all they probably wanted was a banana in the first place. So there you have it folks, the moral of the story is feed your monkeys bananas and they won’t unionize and throw poop at you. Wait, no, what was I talking about before? Oh crap. WORK. Right, gotta go.